Ms. Lynn’s Boys and the passing of precious time
by Lynn
Time. It’s something most of us have too little of, need a whole lot more of, and feel passes too quickly. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been reflecting on time and how it relates to the lives I’ve been involved in for about 12 years.
I’ve been a speech-language pathologist for 18 years and have focused on autism for about 16 of those years. About ten years ago I met a group of boys who will forever be referred to as “Ms. Lynn’s Boys.” As Autism Services Manager here at Easter Seals Central and South East Ohio, I started a little social skills group with Ms Lynn’s Boys. It turned out to be the first of many social skills groups I would put together, but this one will always be special.
We started meeting over the summers between school years, and after a couple years of decided to go year round. Time passed, and my boys learned to take turns, negotiate, and make choices.
More time passed, and when it became obvious I was having a child of my own, my boys were intrigued. They wondered why I was having children. One of my boys had a major meltdown when mom got the call I was in labor and he was told that after the baby was born I’d be on maternity leave. Later on, he explained. He was just upset because he wanted to make sure Ms. Lynn would still love him even though she had a baby of her own. Of course I would — how could I not? And look at that skill — perspective taking, questioning, explaining!
Time marched on. We all went through puberty — that was fun. I have two girls of my own — puberty for a tween girl and five boys with Asperger’s is VERY different. Time passed and we got through it. We learned the difference between glancing at a pretty girl and stalker eyes, how to ask someone on a date, what to do when they say no — or even better — YES!
Time passed, and, well, now Ms. Lynn’s boys are in high school. A couple of them will graduate next year. Over the years our social skills groups have changed — focus, topics, needs. We’ve stayed in the center and we’ve taken field trips. We have spent the entire hour consoling a friend who was turned down by the girl he liked. We’ve also spent time laughing until we cried, all because of the joke someone learned or the impression of Ms. Lynn they did.
I’ve learned a lot by the passing of this time. I’m a much better therapist because I’ve been permitted to spend so much time with my boys. Time has also taught me that these boys are going to be ok. They are always going to have struggles here and there and I hope they know Ms. Lynn will always be here for them.
But if time has taught me nothing else it is that the time we get to spend with the children, teens, young adults, and grown-ups with autism is precious time. We must make the most of it for those we serve so they have an easier time going through life.