A Mother and Her Daughter with Autism Cast Their Votes

by Beth Finke

Here’s a guest post by a mother about her adult daughter with autism and how the two of them research — and vote for — their candidates of choice.

by Bonnie Carol McGrath

Every year around election time I get the same question. “Molly votes?” People are surprised to hear that my 33-year-old daughter Molly, who has autism, is interested in elections, makes her own decisions about which candidate to vote for, and maneuvers the oftentimes complicated Cook County ballots at our polling place on her own.

And so, each election season, I end up explaining over and over again that Molly loves voting, and that she votes with enthusiasm and relish. In many cases, she knows the candidates as well — if not better — than most voters do. When her voter’s card arrives in the mail before the primaries every year, she cuts it out immediately and proudly places it in her purse.

So how can it be that an autistic person loves to vote? For starters, the Printer’s Row neighborhood that Molly and I live in here in Chicago boasts several community organizations that take elections seriously. Neighbors we know have run (and are currently running) for office. Candidates visit us regularly to ask for our vote at neighborhood candidate forums. Even Barack Obama, when he was a State Senator, made regular visits to introduce himself again and again. Little did we know….!

I have always been interested in politics and elections, and over the years I have dragged Molly (willingly) to hundreds, maybe thousands of events, fundraisers and talks featuring candidates and issues. Bottom line, Molly and I pretty much go to any candidates’ forum that we are invited to, and she meets the candidates up close and personal.

Molly probably doesn’t understand some of the finer points of public policy, but who does? However, she engages with the candidates over refreshments
after their speeches and debates at these sorts of events. She knows the feeling of having a candidate look her in the eye and sincerely offer a handshake, a little joke or a kind word. Who doesn’t?

I am a lawyer, and this year I know many of the judicial candidates personally, and I have talked with Molly about them in advance of the upcoming March 15 primary in Illinois. I often remind her that so-and-so, a friend of ours, is running and tell her to make sure she doesn’t overlook them. I let Molly know which candidates are more likely to fund programs for people with disabilities, and which ones aren’t. And trust me, she remembers — she understands how hard it is to raise money for Project Onward, the Chicago art studio where she toils each and every day creating artwork alongside dozens of other very talented artists with disabilities.

My daughter knows if someone seems interested in her and her life, and I know she estimates their character in her own way. And isn’t character what we’re supposed to be gauging when we cast our vote?

The sort of in-person engagement that candidates offer Molly has paid off for a number of candidates who have won Molly’s loyal vote. This year, like always, she’s been out meeting candidates, and once she decides she likes them, she circulates their campaign literature to our neighbors any time she’s given the opportunity.

But what about the ballot itself, people want to know. How can she understand that long and very intricate list? I do help her on some of the finer points (I might remind her of the option to vote for more than one candidate when that is a possibility, for example). Election judges know that after Molly and I take our ballots, I’ll fill mine in before helping Molly maneuver some of those finer points. I’ve never pushed her away from or toward any candidate – until this year.

This election on March 15th, I am running for judge myself – Molly will have a chance to vote for her mom. This might be one race where I might give her a little nudge when we take our ballots.

Disability representation on reality television is a complicated issue

by Erin Hawley

A slew of reality shows are popping up featuring people with disabilities, including Born This Way, The Undateables, and Autism in Love. One of my passions is reviewing TV shows that have a focus on disability, so I always approach media with a critical eye. As I watch these programs, I ask myself four things:

1. Is disability intrinsically film-worthy?
2. Why are these shows popular?
3. Are people with disabilities being exploited for entertainment here?
4. Or might this be a good way to normalize disability?

My answer is complicated. As a disabled person, I connect to the stars on these shows. I do not have Down syndrome, but I can see myself in the group of adults on Born This Way — they want independence so desperately but are challenged by family and society every step of the way. Seeing this played out on national television is profound.

I also realize people with disabilities are not the only group watching. We might not even be the target audience — and that’s where I become uncomfortable.

I want us included in media, and I am not opposed to reality shows starring people with disabilities on their own terms. Yet a part of me wonders if others are watching just because they can stare at us from the comfort of their couch. In person, people tend to steal glances at me when they think I am not looking or won’t notice. There is a long, problematic history of exploitation and people with disabilities masked as entertainment (think carnivals), and I question whether or not these reality TV shows might be the modern extension of that.

I still can’t say definitively how I feel. Disability representation on reality television is a complicated issue, and that also means there’s much to discuss. It’s even the topic of Easter Seals Thrive’s Twitter chat today at 7pm CT / 8pm EST!

Joining us today is Zach Anner, star of reality show Rollin’ With Zach on Oprah’s OWN, and also host of his comedic YouTube channel. Anyone can participate in the chat, and if you decide to join in, you could also win a copy of Zach’s new book, If At Birth You Don’t Succeed!

I’m hoping the discussion allows people to examine disability representation in a new light and will offer a plethora of views on this topic. Can’t wait to see you there on Twitter!

Now nothing will get in the way of casting my vote

by Erin Hawley

Erin Hawley

It started as a regular work day — sitting in my wheelchair at the bedroom desk, checking Thrive’s social media accounts. Then came a knock at the front door.

A young woman was standing there on my porch, armed with a smile and a clipboard. “Would you like to vote by mail?” she asked.

The voting-by-mail option was something I’d thought about in the past, especially since family members have to drive me to the polling station when there’s an election, and I’ve missed a few local votes when a ride wasn’t available. I also missed one election because I was sick.

I take politics and voting seriously. It’s important that my voice and those of people with disabilities are heard. Our collective efforts have made certain laws and programs possible — the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Achieving a Better Life Experience (ABLE) Act, for example — but Lack of transportation, inaccessible polling stations, health concerns, and other community barriers still can make it impossible for us to vote and take part in this national right.

When I hear people say “there is no excuse for not voting!” it makes me cringe. The reality is people with disabilities often have valid reasons why they can’t vote. And really, this is a truth that is not limited to people with disabilities. Poor and working-class families may not be able to get time off from work to go to their polling places. Single mothers or fathers might have to stay home with sick children. And some people feel uninformed because they don’t have access to resources many of us take for granted. The list goes on.

So I was pleasantly surprised when the young woman knocked on my door. I hadn’t signed up for voting by mail before because I wasn’t sure how to do it. By the time elections rolled around, it was too late to do the research.

But now, thanks to the efforts of this woman and the system in place behind her, I was able to sign up for mail-in ballots by simply reading and signing my name on a form. I experienced a powerful emotion when I signed that form — one of solidarity, of seeing how we can all work together to make sure people with disabilities and other marginalized individuals are included in this democracy. I realize we still have far to go until we are truly included in society, but for that moment, I felt what it could be like — and what it should be like — to have your voice count.

Don’t get me wrong: I did enjoy casting my vote in person, and that should still be an option for people with disabilities. We need to work at making polling places accessible to all, but for now at least I know I can vote in every election, regardless of my health and access to a ride.

Share what is most important to you this election with our survey. We’ll share results with candidates! Plus, share your thoughts on Twitter and tag @Easter_Seals and #PWDvote.

Pressing Candidates to Prioritize People with Disabilities: A Voter Checklist

by Randall Rutta, President and CEO

Election season is underway and the American voter is in the driver’s seat, with every candidate’s policies and promises up for review.

In addition to the presidency, 469 seats in the U.S. Congress (34 Senate seats and all 435 House seats) are up for election on Nov. 8. And at the state level, 94 senior elected positions across 22 states will be decided in the fall, in addition to legislature elections in 86 state legislative chambers.

Now is the time for voters to ask the tough questions as they decide who will chart the best course for the future of all Americans.

At the top of every voter check-list should be where the candidates stand on helping key segments of the U.S. population who are facing life-changing circumstances and conditions: adults with disabilities struggling to find and keep employment; veterans making the challenging transition to civilian life; and perhaps one of the most vulnerable groups of all — children in need of early intervention for developmental delays, disabilities or autism.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are 53 million of us with a disability, whether physical, emotional, social or educational. Chances are, most of us will be touched by disability at some point in our lives – whether it is our own or that of someone we know, love or care for. Put simply, disabilities, whether visible and invisible, are a part of everyday life. According to the United States Census Bureau, there were 19.3 million American veterans as of 2014, 3.8 million of whom have a disability. Easter Seals Dixon Center estimates that 1,000 servicemembers transition to civilian life every day.

Given the right support, every person with a disability and every unemployed (or displaced) veteran can be independent and make valuable contributions to their families, their communities and the economic health of the nation. Ensuring that they get the support they need helps us all.

Here are the key issues on which voters should press their candidates, whether at the federal, state or local level:

• Unemployed adults with disabilities: The economy may be on the upswing, but the unemployment rate for Americans with disabilities is on the rise, reaching 10.8 percent in January, up from 10.3 percent at the close of 2015, according to the U.S. Department of Labor. This is nearly double the rate for the general population. The figures also show that though more people with disabilities were looking for work in January, the number actually employed declined. Americans must seek out leaders who prioritize solutions to the needs of this group, which include adequate public transport so people with disabilities can get to and from jobs, companies that recruit and retain employees with disabilities, and support for caregivers of family members with disabilities.
• Early intervention for children: Some 40 percent of children under the age of 5 years are at risk of a developmental delay or disability. Of those, 26 percent are at moderate to high risk of developmental delay, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. As many as a million children 5 years or under fail to be identified for intervention, according to Easter Seals. It is now well-established that early intervention — such as occupational, physical and speech therapy — can make an enormous difference to children with delays, minimizing the need for special education and related services when they reach maturity. It can also increase independent living and reduce the need for institutionalization. Congress has recognized this need by creating the Early Intervention Program for Infants and Toddlers with disabilities, which requires states to implement programs. But voters must press candidates to support more comprehensive screening and the funding of these vital intervention services. As the numbers show, we need more screening, not less.

• Veterans with disabilities: Of those who have served since 9/11, nearly three in ten have a disability. Government programs that support our disabled veterans must remain fully funded. So, too, must efforts to find employment for this highly-skilled workforce.
• Unemployed veterans: Whether living with a disability or not, we need leaders to continue programs that have made so much progress in transitioning our veterans into the civilian workforce. And of the younger veterans, women are particularly at risk, with 7.9 percent unemployment. It’s a problem with growing consequence. The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) estimates 10 percent of women veterans live in poverty and are the fastest growing segment of the homeless vet population. We need government programs tailored to the needs of these young women, many of whom have children.
• Support for caregivers: Behind every veteran with a disability stands a network of caregivers — spouses, parents, grandparents, and children — who shoulder the care and support of their disabled veteran, which may extend for decades. According to a study by the Rand Corp., some 5.5 million people are caregivers to a former servicemember, saving the U.S. healthcare system just under $14 billion in uncompensated care annually. Of those caring for post-9/11 veterans, many tend to be younger, with children to care for, and many are caring for a veteran with a service-related brain injury. Services and outreach to this vitally important network must remain strong and continue to be expanded with government initiatives and programs.

As voters enter the polling booth this election season, they should reflect on the awesome power of the ballot with its ability to ensure that those with disabilities and those who have sacrificed for the nation are not forgotten.

President John Quincy Adams perhaps said it best: “Always vote on principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”

Rutta is president and CEO of Easter Seals.

How do you vote when assistive technology fails at the polls?

by Beth Finke

The results from Super Tuesday are in, and that makes March the perfect month to focus our posts on the Easterseals blog on…voting.

I’m blind and have had mixed success with accessibility at the polls – sometimes the assistive technology they’ve set up for people with visual impairments works, but often it doesn’t. My husband can see, so when the speech synthesizers at our polling place refuse to talk, he signs an affidavit and accompanies me into the booth to read the ballot out loud.

I am very fortunate to have a great support network –my husband, my friends and my family all chip in to assist me when other systems fail. I’m already gearing up for Election Day here in Illinois on March 15. Just like every other election, I anticipate problems with the assistive technology, and I’ll appreciate having my husband at my side to advocate with me to make an effort to get it working.

So with that, and my work here at Easterseals, I got to wondering. What about people with disabilities who don’t have great support networks? What happens when they have issues at the polling place? How do they exercise their right to vote?

The Center for an Accessible Society has a website that shares the challenges that some individuals with disabilities experience in trying to vote and the barriers that need to be addressed. It also asks the question “Would it matter if more people with disabilities voted? The answer was stunning: “If people with disabilities voted at the same rate as the non-disabled, 10 million more votes would have been cast in the last Presidential election – a major voting bloc.”

Voting is power, and measuring the size of any group’s vote can significantly impact that group’s political muscle. But the disability vote is not often examined. As a group, or special interest constituency, people with disabilities are invisible, not included or even identified in exit polling or post election analyses.

Our goal is to examine the disability vote in March with guest posts written by –and about — voters who have disabilities. Look to the Easterseals blog for stories about voting and disabilities all month long.

Also, take our election survey to start thinking about the issues that may matter to you most this election.

Early intervention, and a good playgroup, changed everything

by Beth Finke

We’re wrapping up our February focus on love and relationships with this guest post by Robbin Miller. Robbin is a licensed mental health counselor and the author of Playgroup Time, a picture book promoting inclusion, diversity, and friendships for young children (ages 5 months to 18 months old) with different abilities in an early intervention program.

by Robbin Miller

Valentine’s Day used to be just the two of us — my spouse and I would go out for a quiet dinner and exchanged cards and gifts to honor our commitment to each other. But then EJ entered our lives.

We adopted our son EJ in August of 2009, and with the long and frustrating five-year wait finally over, we appreciate and express our gratitude and cherish and love every day of the year.

EJ was born three weeks early and underweight. When he was four weeks old, we moved forward to get him evaluated for early intervention. EJ didn’t end up needing special services, but I still wanted my son to attend a weekly structured fun playgroup to enhance his skills in cognition, social development and fine and gross motor skills. The staff invited us to attend a weekly structured playgroup at their early intervention center when he turned five months old, and are we glad they did.

I embraced this opportunity for EJ to play with other babies and for me to meet new parents. I worked a part-time professional job in the evenings but felt very lonely at home during the day. I could not wait to socialize with other parents — I needed to get out of the house!

I counted the days for EJ to turn five months old, and yet, I had butterflies in my stomach when the playgroup started after New Years’ Day. I felt anxious going to a new place with EJ. I was afraid of not being able to mingle with other parents while EJ played with their children.

I had no idea what to expect on the first day of playgroup, but soon I learned we had nothing to worry about. EJ had so much fun playing with Avery, (a boy with Down syndrome) — both of these boys ran under a train tent, and when their quick energy and zest knocked it over on top of them, they giggled and giggled together. Later, EJ crawled over to Meghan, a six-month-old with cerebral palsy, to shake her hand. At first Meghan was shy to be on the carpeted floor with the other children, but EJ’s handshake made her smile.

EJ aged out of playgroup at 18 months old, and he’s a big six year old now. I still treasure the relationships I made when my son was a baby– with other parents, the staff, and all the new friends EJ made at playgroup.

Learn more about early intervention therapies for young children.

Learn more about inclusive childcare and playgroups.

What the recommendation against autism screenings really means

by Katy Beh Neas

There was a lot in the mainstream press earlier this month about the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force’s recommendation against universal autism screening for all young children. What the Task Force said was that when it comes to a young child whose parents, other caregivers or healthcare providers have no concerns that the child may have autism, there is no need to screen for this specific condition.

Its important to read this recommendation for what it is, and also for what it is not. The Task Force is NOT recommending that parents and other caregivers avoid screening young children to measure and monitor their development using a tool like the Easter Seals Ages and Stages Questionnaire® (ASQ), which measures child development in all areas of development: language development, emotional and physical development. Rather, the Task Force said that they could not justify an autism-specific screening for every child.

I understand their point. I just hope that it doesn’t stop a parent or caregiver from taking the important step in using a tool like the ASQ to measure and monitor a child’s development. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services affirms that approximately 40 percent of all kids under the age of 5 are at moderate or high risk of having a developmental delay.

That’s a lot of kids!!!

Download the activity book for young children, from Easter Seals Make the First Five Count

Since Easter Seals launched the Make the First Five Count campaign, we have screened more than 50,000 kids. Our data are aligned with the national data that 40 percent of the kids have a disability or a delay that needs to be addressed with early intervention services.

Our data show that most of these young children have a delay in either language development or physical development. A delay in language development could be an indication of a number of issues — the consequences of chronic ear infections or perhaps autism. In my case, my daughter’s language delay was the result of me over-anticipating her needs. She didn’t need to talk because I was doing everything for her.

Way to go, Mom.

After a screening to determine what was going on, my Easter Seals child care staff suggested that I make my daughter tell me what she needed, rather than me asking her. In about 2 weeks, she was talking up a storm.

A screening is an important trigger to determine the next steps. We have seen progress in the number of young children who have been screened with a tool like the ASQ. We’ve gone from 20 percent of all children being screened to 30 percent in the last couple of years. This progress is fantastic, but the fact remains that 70 percent of all children under age five are not being screened. Rather than getting the supports they need to address the delay, too many of these children will enter kindergarten with a delay that puts them behind their peers.

It remains true that knowledge is power. I hope every parent of a child under the age of 5 routinely measures their child’s developmental progress. We have the Ages and Stages Questionnaire available for free online and also have child development experts in your community who can help you support your child’s unique needs.

I know firsthand that even the most attentive parent can miss something. Easter Seals is here to support you to be the best parent possible. Together, let’s continue to Make the First Five Count!

Visit Easter Seals Make the First Five Count to take the screening and find child development resources and stories.

We’re Building Veterans’ Confidence for the Next Mission

by Jackie Orihill

We’re excited to have Frank Gaudio, trustee and veterans’ liaison for the PwC Charitable Foundation, as a guest blogger to share some big news! The PwC Charitable Foundation is providing a $1.2 million, four-year grant to the Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services. Frank wants you all to know how the Foundation’s investment and collaboration with ESDC will impact thousands of veterans and their families. Read on to find out!

Something you may not know about me is that I’ve been a volunteer assistant women’s golf coach at the collegiate level since 2013. Having played my entire life, including my high school and college years, I believe my time coaching is actually the most rewarding. Through the players, I’m still connected to the athleticism of golf and the thrill of competition; but that’s not what I love the most. What I love is the privilege of helping these dedicated young women become better athletes, and hopefully better prepared for their future by developing skills that can set them up for success in life. And it’s the same privilege and honor I have through my work with the PwC Charitable Foundation, which just announced a $1.2 million donation to the Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services. This grant is part of the Foundation’s larger commitment to strategically invest $5 million to help veterans and their families overcome barriers to education, training and job readiness for successful transition to civilian careers.

How is it the same? Because the Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services utilizes a unique approach of supporting veterans before exiting the military as a way of enabling a path for job training and placement. The action of reaching service members before they have separated from the military is a key differentiator and critical component of the Easter Seals Dixon Center’s strategy. The same way I’m helping to prepare players for a win and life beyond the present, the Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services is helping to prepare transitioning veterans and military families for the one of their biggest wins: a successful shift into future civilian life.

Since World War II, Easter Seals has been a “go to” resource for veterans, military families and those who support the military community. Serving 1.3 million people annually, thousands of whom are connected to military service, they have been a leading service provider for people with disabilities, veterans and their families. To drive a new conversation and refocus services in local communities across the nation, Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veteran Services was formed in 2012. This renewed strategic priority supports a conversation about both the potential of veterans, as well as the engagement of organizations in connecting veterans and military families with assistance they may need to succeed in meaningful employment, education and overall health and wellness in local communities.

According to a recent news article, “in 2014, there were 3.2 million veterans who had served since 9/11. Each year, more than 250,000 veterans transition back into the civilian workforce, but as the unemployment numbers indicate, not all find the transition without challenges.” While we all know the move from service member to civilian status involves more than a change in job title, do we really understand how much more is involved? Imagine if one single career move potentially changed every part of your life – and your family’s life – at once. A move like that involves months of preparation and societal support in order to be successful. The Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services provides the connective tissue between veterans, the communities and the organizations – both public and private – that want to help meet their needs. And one the most critical areas of need can be job training and placement.

The PwC Charitable Foundation, Inc. is focused on grant making that can have a profound effect on people, including active duty military service member, veterans and their families who have sacrificed for our country. The investment in Easter Seals Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services is one way the PwC Charitable Foundation, Inc. is addressing this critical need area. Our grant is specifically geared towards supporting service members, who are classified as End Term of Service or End of Active Service, plan for and make successful career changes through support from the Easter Seals Dixon Center. The Foundation’s investment and collaboration with ESDC will help expand programming to seven military installations across the nation, impacting thousands of veterans and their families with employment training and credentialing as well as information regarding community resources.

In the 2015 Veterans Day Proclamation, the President said our true strength as a nation is measured by how we take care of our veterans when they return home. Being a Trustee and the Veterans Liaison for the PwC Charitable Foundation, Inc., I’m proud to contribute to the strength of our nation by championing support for veterans and military families, and the organizations that help them thrive. As I continue my work with the Foundation – to make more than $5 million in strategic investments by 2019 to assist veterans and military children overcome the barriers to education, workforce transition, and professional development – I’m honored to be helping thousands of veterans build confidence for their next mission: a positive transition into the civilian workforce.

Learn about all the ways that Easter Seals supports veterans here.

Healing horses for a little girl with Down syndrome

by Beth Finke

I am pleased to introduce Katherine (Katie) Riegel as a guest blogger today. The author of two books of poetry and a collection of essays, Katie is a writer, poet, blogger, educator, meditator, animal lover, and Anglophile who lives in Memphis, Tennessee.

by Katherine Riegel

I’ve been helping my sister as a horse leader for Healing Horse Stables (her therapeutic riding center in central Illinois) for a couple of years now, and have led the horse for a girl named Isannah there many times.

Isannah is blonde and has Down syndrome, and every single time she comes out she sings a song to her horse. She’s the best rider of her group, so she gets the biggest horses, or the ones with a little more character. That leaves the always-calm “teddy-horses” to the other riders. Isannah has ridden Melody, Gwynna, Trooper, Buster, and they all flick their ears back to listen to their own names in the song during the first two loops around the arena.

I love Isannah’s joy and the specific connection she makes with her horse. And I love Isannah, even when she’s saying “no” to my sister’s suggestion that she reach up to push the balls hanging from the ceiling of the arena, a coordination-improving exercise she’s done numerous times before. This little girl is stubborn when she gets uncertain or tired. “No” is her most frequently used word.

In this stubbornness she is joined by Melody, the old mare who was our mother’s horse before my sister inherited her. Melody, 26 years old, has her own ways of saying “no,” and as she nears retirement she says it more and more. She skips sideways, stops without warning, tosses her head. Or at least she does except when Isannah is riding.

When Isannah is riding Melody, the two strong-willed girls meet in respect and affection. Melody walks along — mostly — like the gentle old lady she is. Isannah has good balance, and that helps. But I think Melody is calmest with Isannah because she is like our mother. Because most of the time, even when Isannah says “no,” she still reaches up and taps the ball, or puts the rings on the peg.

The world isn’t always easy, and Isannah insists on having a say in how she will interact with it. She can do it. She will do it, what’s required of her. Despite being led, she’s controlling this great beast underneath her, and she will decide what to do while on it.

Our mother was the driving force of our lives. My sister is named after her — Dorothy, though she goes by Dorey, as our mother went by Dinny, and her mother by Dot. Dorey started this therapeutic riding center with the two horses our mother left behind when she died, and the knowledge and determination she got helping our mother with the horses when we were kids. Dorey started Healing Horse Stables with little more than love—her love for horses and kids and people who could use some help and healing.

There’s science behind equine-assisted activities and therapies. Some kids on the autism spectrum only speak when they’re with the horses. Some children develop stronger core muscles — you can see them sitting up straighter — just from being led around on horseback for 30 minutes once a week.

But really it’s love that makes it work. The love between a stubborn old horse and a stubborn young girl. The love that girl’s parents have for her, to bring her out to the barn, summer and winter, so she can have a bigger experience of life. The love I have for my sister, to help when I can and wish so hard for her dream to keep going. The love we learned from our mother, who knew that what you give to the world, you get back a thousandfold.

Related Resources:

Easter Seals has horse therapy programs in Pennsylvania. See if the Easter Seals in your area has animal therapies by connecting here.

Growth, development and at-home exercises for children with Down syndrome.

“Dating someone who is blind is honestly not as hard as it sounds”

by Alicia Krage

As promised, here’s the second part of Alicia Krage’s post about some of the challenges and joys of being — and dating – someone who’s blind.

by Alicia Krage

In March of last year, as Joe and I lingered somewhere between friends and a couple, I’d often reflect on my friends’ questions about whether I’d prefer dating someone who can see, or someone who is blind.

I thought about what the challenges were with both, and in the end I realized that being blind and dating someone who is blind is honestly not as hard as it sounds. Transportation becomes a problem sometimes – you can’t exactly stay out until 2am and drive home – but working on things together like figuring out schedules for trains and buses has helped me gain a different sort of independence.

I visit Joe at his college every other weekend, and I take the train back and forth to Northern Illinois University by myself. I’m much more confident on my own now than I was before I met Joe.

We go on dates a lot, and restaurants are very good about walking us to our seat, offering us Braille menus (if they have some), or reading off some of the selections.

Here’s a tip, though. Narrow down your selection to a few categories –servers don’t appreciate having to read the entire menu! They’ll be a lot happier if you ask them to, say, just read all the pasta or burgers. That, or use your speech software to look up the menu online ahead of time.

Now back to dates with Joe. We’ve talked about experiencing other things on dates, like going to concerts, and I think we’ll be doing that together soon. He’s the kind of person that motivates you to be better, the kind that urges you (politely) to step out of your comfort zone a little bit.

Some things take more assistance than others, but it isn’t impossible, and there’s no one else I’d rather share crazy adventures with than my boyfriend Joe.

I look back at my previous relationships and question my motives, but in the end, I know those relationships taught me a lot. I learned what I want in someone and what I don’t, what works and what doesn’t, and I took that into consideration.

Joe and I are two months shy of our one-year anniversary, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Join other young women with disabilities to discuss everything from dating and media to career development with Easter Seals Thrive.

Read other dating tips and stories at easterseals.com/love.