A tragedy in Wisconsin
by Bob
Empty … that’s how I feel after reading this tragic story in the Wisconsin State Journal about a murder-suicide. Kyle Dutter, a boy with severe disabilities, was murdered by his father, who then took his own life.
In the Journal’s story, more is shared about what challenges Kyle faced living with severe disabilities than the child he was. His obituary and a Web site created by his father reveal a whole lot more than a diagnosis.
What a tragic story — the stress that parents and families feel is hard to imagine. What a shame that it may have led to such a horrible thing in this instance. It just makes our work at Easter Seals, and the urgency around it, all that much more important.
I don’t have words to put anything in perspective, but I thought I should open up the discussion for you to share your thoughts, your fears and your dreams as your family lives with autism and other disabilities. Maybe in your reflections, we can find some ways to avoid this tragedy from repeating itself.
August 20th, 2009 at 8:34 am
i just want people to know he had autism, yes he had the occasional seizure, and he couldn’t walk “right” and he couldn’t make full sentences, and he didn’t like to be in big crowds. but it was little things not alot of major things, compared to how he was 5 years ago, he learned so much. he was my little brother and he was the sweetest,and best brother a sister could ask for no matter how different he was. thank you everyone for caring so much.
November 28th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Kyle did not have severe disabilities. Just to set the board straight. Please don’t print things you don’t know. He did everything we do from playing ball to trick or treating to having conversations.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
To some of us, a sad story like this one might be confounding because we can’t begin to understand where a father was in his thoughts and feelings, or how he got there. To others, it’s sad and frightening–because we can understand better than we might want to.
My adult son has severe developmental and physical disabilities. I was not alone raising him by any stretch of the imagination–my wife, both of our families, our friends, terrific therapists and school professionals–they all provided tremendous support. And still, at times, I felt completely alone, inadequate to the responsibility, and hopeless.
At times I also felt faithless about the future–I just couldn’t imagine trusting my son to the world after I was gone. I’m sure all parents can feel that way, but I think it’s different when you know your child literally can’t make his or her own way. But again and again, wonderful people have showed me I can trust others to care for my son. For that I’m deeply grateful, but I also know that not everyone is as fortunate as I have been. I’m heartbroken for Kyle, his father, and his entire family.
For parents who find themselves feeling desperate, please, hang in there and have faith–however you come by it–people can and will surprise you in the very best ways.
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
This news is so hard to hear, especially when this is so close to home. More thankful than ever that my son has a loving father that cares for him. And for me.