Honto ni suki des means I love you in Japanese
Posted on February 14th, 2014 by MacKenzie
With all the recent snow, there hasn’t been any real shoveling in the tiny alley behind the condo that Mr. B (my boyfriend) lives in. Snow piled up. I couldn’t move my car. I couldn’t leave. I felt truly and utterly trapped, and I could feel myself shutting down.
I’m not necessarily bad in stressful situations. I’m rather decent, really. It’s just that the auditory and language disabilities I have make it extremely important that I be in a calm and sober state of mind in order to communicate with others. And no matter how much speech therapy I’ve had and no matter how many times I’ve been told to “use my words,” well, some situations are just guaranteed to make everything shut down.
That night in the snow was one of those situations. All I could do was stare dumbly at my car, now blocking the alley and stuck in a snow mound. Mr. B always watches me leave to make sure I get out safely, and as I tried to get my car unstuck, he looked sympathetic. When I turned off the car, he understood. He went back into the condo and returned with hot steaming water and a shovel. I started to dig my car out and he splashed the snow under the tires with the water. We didn’t need words.
Once we’d done all we could, I surrendered the keys to him (I was ready to admit defeat) and let him try to pull out. Success!
He grinned from the driver’s seat when I went to give him a hug. I kissed my new hero of the day and said thank you. “Honto ni suki des!” I explained. That phrase means “I love you” in Japanese. It’s a bit of a running joke between us.
I drove off then, and I could still feel the smile of his lips against mine at home hours later. It’s so important to have communication in a relationship, and having disabilities like the silent ones I have require additional patience from both of us. Mr. B has learned to understand when it’s a good time to offer alternative words, and when it is best to keep quiet. I’ve learned to control my temper when I’m frustrated with myself. We will have our spats now and then. But at the end of the day, we understand each other, even when words become elusive and silent. That means so much to me. Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. B. Honto ni suki des!